Formulating thoughts

I love and hate movies in which someone finds a unexpected passion and in turn finds meaning in their life. I think I love it for the same reason I hate it. Does that make me crazy? I love it because out of the blue here is this amazing opportunity in which everything is at least partially worked out if not hopeful in the end. So here in lies also why I hate it as well, everything just kind of works out, sure there is some friction on how we get to that point, but it ends up hopeful in the end. While I know God works all things to good, that doesn't mean all plans succeed. I am such a sucker when it comes to these kind of movies because I always walk away with a desire to do what ever without understanding the possible pain. Tonight we saw Whip it and even though skating is fun, I realized I would never be able to do that, too much pain. I always want to be great at something, but I know that is a selfish desire. I know it is selfish because I can't seem to embrace something I could like if someone else is good at it. I think I am scared that the only reason I want to try whatever it is, is because someone else is doing whatever and I am just bandwagon-ing. I also don't want to own up to the possibility that I am less that another, and wouldn't be able to cut it. So this take me to the place of there is nothing new under the sun. If it was a God given talent I wouldn't feel this way? So where does this leave me? A bag full of unfinished projects, a guitar, keyboard, multiple flutes, a bike, and no real hobby in sight. I was told this week I live a boring life and it is very true. I guess I wish I just had a passion about something again. Those are the thoughts in my head, not all of them of course, but a few.