New Year...

With this semester over and the new year coming up, it made me think about our schedules for next semester. I registered for classes for a few weeks ago, Joe registered today and then we bought books online... and next semester we are both trying to take full loads, 9 hours a piece... So needless to say it is going to be a bit busy in our house. Joe has classes on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I have classes on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. We will have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to see each other at night. I am still planning on running at night between work and class. I wish it was easy enough to snap my fingers and the semester would be over, but that is not possible. I am trying to prepare myself by thinking about meals and other things I should have planned out ahead of time. While this past semester we kind of let things go meal wise, if we do that this semester we will either never eat or gain a hundred pounds. So I am trying to find healthy meals I can cook ahead of time and freeze.

This is my plea... anybody out there know any cheap, healthy meals that freeze well?

Running

So I recently began running again, about two weeks before my birthday, and have had quite a few funny stories from over the past few weeks. A few were painful, some included dogs, and others aren't really about running but about injuries that caused me to take a break from running.

Here are a few of the painful... well mainly one long painful one.

When I started running again, it was because I found some cheap running shoes at sams... turns out, the shoes where cheap for a reason. Anyway, the shoes where what started me out. I didn't think about what else I might need I just went for a run, on the Natchez Trace, from one mile marker and back. I had music in and it was great. Looking back I was lucky I didn't get hit by a car but that is not the point of this story. Well the next day my chest hurt a little bit, but I didn't take much notice. So I ran again the next day or the day after I can't remember at Brighton park on the track, and it was great. I felt on top of my game, except my chest began to kill me. I shrugged it off, ran again that week, and the same thing happened. Suddenly it dawned on me that my chest was hurting because of the old bras I had been wearing... apparently it is bad to run with your chest flopping around on to metal... well that night I went out and bought a three pack of sports bras, and after a few days the pain was gone, the shoes weren't doing so great, but again that's another story. I got new shoes, and a nike + about the same time so I started training for a 10K, so I was running longer distances. Well I started feeling a stinging feeling in the lower middle of my chest... and wasn't really sure why. Thought it would go away, washed the area after running and when on. It didn't really go away, it got worse. So much so that I was holding the bottom of the bra in the middle of a treadmill run because I was determined to finish the run. When I check it out after the run it was bleeding and raw. Thankfully I found an abrasion cover so I could keep running that week. I guess the cheap sports bras won't cut it either. What happened was there is a rough seam on the band of the bra that rubbed every wiggle or flop. Anyway, all this to say I learned my lesson... "Save the Ta Ta's" remember the girls and all of their many needs with running or they will fight back.

More funny stories later... off to bed for me!

Praxis Update!

So... We both passed Praxis 2 with flying colors! All that is left for Joe is to get his grades. For me I have one final left to finish and turn in. Hopefully in about a week we will both be eligible for our teaching licenses. Not really sure what is next, but we are signed up for classes next semester. Hopefully I can find a job teaching 4th or 5th grade.... sooner than later.

Praxis

Praxis 2 in the morning.... Joe and I are both taking our respective tests. Please pray for us.... it is at 7:30 am and we are both pretty nerves. Thanks!

Psalm 139:4

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, o Lord.

So very honesty, it has been a while since I have made time to just sit and read the Bible. Anyone who has been around can probably tell. I felt selfish and pointless going through out the day and many things I said and did reflected that. I'm not really sure how to get back to the point before all of this, but this verse jumped out at me this morning reminding me God cares about my attitude and thoughts as well as actions and words. It is easy to play the part in the south, don't cuss or gossip, but not as easy to keep my attitude focused on God and what I should be greatful for. I know this is milk compared to the big truths but I think that is where I need to start over. I feel like it is as if I have been sick and have to start back on liquids before I can eat steak, otherwise I'll just get sick again. Just like being sick I am still waiting for strenght to come back. I guess it doesn't help that I have been sick as well and I am really waiting for strenght and stamna to come back to my physical self as well.

I love Children's Books....

Over the past few weeks I have happened on many children's books some through scholastic and others at yard sales but I remembered how much I love them. At a yard sale I found Harry the Dirty Dog, Madeline, an Ollie book, and two scholastic first readers one about frogs and the other sharks. I brought them with me to read to my class and they loved them! Now I didn't really read the frog and shark books, a little over their level, but we looked at the pictures and counted the frogs/ sharks. I haven't looked at some of the other books I got at last weekend yet because they are more for older readers, chapter books and the such, but I am equally excited about getting 4 books for a quarter that will help build my future classroom library. I almost forgot about the MC book bazaar where I found even more books... I should get my scholastic book order on Monday so I will post if the book are really as amazing as I am hoping. One book I really can't wait for is Mouse's First Fall. The Mouse's First series is geared toward Preschoolers but is beautifully illustrated. I have Mouse's First Day of School and the class loves it, they follow the mouse around the classroom where he explores blocks, puzzles, plants, snacks... and other items you might find in a preschool classroom.

How I met your mother

Today has been a whirlwind. This past weekend when I went home I think I picked up something, crud might be a good word for it. Well this crud continued to grow until it became bad crud last night, when I took something for it. Well this morning I awoke to still bad crud but tried to go to work, which I left two hours later. I debated going to the Dr. when I remembered that I am a student so maybe I could go to the nurse... unfortunately I am only part time and you need to be full time. Anyway I called back just to price a visit and with out tests or anything it was unbelievably reasonable. So I went, letting the nurse know my situation, and no tests were run. They also gave me samples so I wouldn't have to fill a prescription. I am very thankful right now. Well when I got home I started to watch back episodes of How I met your mother. I realized why I really like that show, and it is because it shows me that no matter how I feel my plans should go it doesn't matter God will work it all out, and he will use all we are going though to learn something through it. I can fight it or I can try to enjoy it and stop analyzing everything we are going though just to try to get a peek at the next step. What happens if a decision isn't the wisest we made, we will learn though it and God could use it. Now I am not talking about sinning, I'm talking about things seen as wise though the world's eyes. I don't really have specific examples but its the little things that I think make me look stupid for trying. Anyway those are my thoughts. Wish there was more to them, but its all I've got tonight.

Formulating thoughts

I love and hate movies in which someone finds a unexpected passion and in turn finds meaning in their life. I think I love it for the same reason I hate it. Does that make me crazy? I love it because out of the blue here is this amazing opportunity in which everything is at least partially worked out if not hopeful in the end. So here in lies also why I hate it as well, everything just kind of works out, sure there is some friction on how we get to that point, but it ends up hopeful in the end. While I know God works all things to good, that doesn't mean all plans succeed. I am such a sucker when it comes to these kind of movies because I always walk away with a desire to do what ever without understanding the possible pain. Tonight we saw Whip it and even though skating is fun, I realized I would never be able to do that, too much pain. I always want to be great at something, but I know that is a selfish desire. I know it is selfish because I can't seem to embrace something I could like if someone else is good at it. I think I am scared that the only reason I want to try whatever it is, is because someone else is doing whatever and I am just bandwagon-ing. I also don't want to own up to the possibility that I am less that another, and wouldn't be able to cut it. So this take me to the place of there is nothing new under the sun. If it was a God given talent I wouldn't feel this way? So where does this leave me? A bag full of unfinished projects, a guitar, keyboard, multiple flutes, a bike, and no real hobby in sight. I was told this week I live a boring life and it is very true. I guess I wish I just had a passion about something again. Those are the thoughts in my head, not all of them of course, but a few.

Ministry

I have to laugh a little about the title I chose because of something that happened today. I'm going to give a little back story first though. About a month shy of a year ago, I applied for a job at a daycare that was also in Clinton. At the time I was struggling with Starbucks and the inconsistency of it all, really late/early hours, and constantly feeling I was unable to spend time with family or friends. So I put in my application and the next day my two weeks notice. I wasn't expecting a call or a job offer, but I couldn't wait for either I was miserable and it wasn't helping our marriage. November 1st was my last day at Starbucks, and shortly after was the last day I had insurance. So I applied for other jobs, but with the holiday season at hand we kind of took a break and spent time with my family. It was after new year's day that I heard anything from other employers. I was under qualified for some I understood, but it was fine. I finally had an offer of a job, believe it or not one that I had partially turned down. It seems though that they had another opening and believed I would fit it better than I would have fit the last. At this time it was the beginning of February, and after praying about it I accepted the job. While it didn't have benefits, I had believed those would be easy enough to obtain at least the health insurance part. While I usually love the kids, some harder to love than others, the job has seemed to wear on me a bit. Recently it has taken getting back into classes to encourage me to continue what has felt like a fight, I have to not only survive but thrive in the setting. I had applied for a teacher's assistant position mainly for experience in the classroom, but an added bonus would be the benefits. Sadly this year has had the most applications for that position the school district has seen in quite some time. All this to say where I have been since the application of the first mentioned daycare was placed. Last week I received a voice mail on my phone from the first day care, and ignored it, a little curious but not worth calling about since I had been at the day care I am at now for over six months. I had missed calls ever couple of days but usually I didn't have the chance to call back. Today I saw a had a missed call and didn't realize who it was so I called back. After a second or two I was directed to the person who called me and it had been someone on behalf of the daycare. They had called to see if I was still interested in the job I had applied for. I pointed out to them it had almost been a year ago a little later, but being curious I asked about the position. It was in their toddler class, seven children, they guaranteed that no more than seven would be in the class. They has said I came highly recommended by my previous employer, and they wanted a creative individual willing to deal with diapers and all that entails. So at this point I informed her I already had a job at another preschool in the area, but there is no good way to bring up what I had to next. I asked about the dreaded word in all of childcare... benefits. The phrase I received back is what shocked me the most, even more that calling me back almost a year since I put in my application. "This is strictly a ministry position." As she went on I gathered her meaning behind "ministry position." She had said it would be full time, but only minimum wage (less than what I am making now), and no benefits except after a year's time you would be able to receive some sick leave. I could have understood very easily that it was not possible to provide benefits, but the way she worded it disgusted me. Needless to say without the benefit of having benefits I most definitely turned her down. I am thankful I am at a place where for the most part I can say I enjoy where I work at the moment, knowing that it is not permanent. I would like to say though that hopefully even in ministry positions people would want to take care of their ministers and not just use it as a way to justify not paying more or giving benefits. I could rant on and on about this phrase, but I feel I have said my piece. Seeing that I do have to get up early in the morning for work, I will say goodnight.

Back to where I began....

Six years ago give or take a few weeks I moved in to Chrestman as a freshman at MC.... and now I am back where I began, and hopefully about to start classes again. A week ago we moved everything one building over. The next day I went to work, and Joe went on the RD retreat. It seemed strange in the middle of unpacking and putting away to go back to work. I realized I had never had to do that before. So instead of hitting unpacking head on we kind of stretched it through the week, but we are pretty much finished. Things aren't staying on the walls as much as we would like, Joe's Shakespeare has jumped of the wall twice (I'm ok with that), but other than that we are putting our homey touches on the place before students start moving in.

I'm excited about this year. I have always, well almost always, loved Chrestman. It just has a feel about it as you walk through the door. I remember sitting in the front lobby watching Princess Bride, and having a girls day with pizza while watching Lauren's VHS copy of Pirates of the Caribbean. I know there are great memories for Joe as well. Freshman dorms always have more of a community feel, you get to know people because you have to. All that to say I am looking forward to having students stop by, who knows I may pick up Kristy's tradition of cooking for the RA's on a regular basis. Some students move in Tuesday, football players move in wed. and RA's move in thursday or friday.... so start your engines, the year is about to begin!

Julie & Julia with a little bit of New Orleans

I have been reading Julie & Julia, just finished it actually... It was good, different from the previews that I have seen... I'm glad I read the book first so I wouldn't be swept up in the glamor of Julie's life that wasn't really glamorous. Reading the book though I have realized I do not have the patience to accomplish such a feat. I also realized that I would love to write, a book or something important, if I only had something important to say, or in the case of this book something to do. I don't have a long enough attention span to become an expert at anything, or the drive to do a long project. Joe said I should write down the funny things the children do at the preschool, but I'm not really sure how that would work legally... I don't know everything is a little strange when children are involved. It is a good idea though, probably shouldn't use real names...
I'll have more time to think about that tomorrow, on the trip down to NO...I can't believe it has been about a year since we moved. There were times this past year I was a little homesick for the place and the people, I guess the same way I was homesick for Clinton. In memories it is easy to forget the large amount of flies that we couldn't get rid of, having to drive thirty min to get to a Walmart, and trying not to worry about money problems. In memories, I never remember getting sick of hearing about Katrina, but we did. I'm ready for the taste again, and to hopefully see some friends. So that is tomorrow. Tonight I hope to convince Joe that Froghead is a good idea... who knows.

Simplify

Everything I plan to do usually starts out good, I'm dedicated in the beginning. Then slowly there is a change, the things I was so disciplined at are replaced or worn down to nothing. Habits aren't formed but reality sets in and I begin to no longer care about the things I once did, or to the extreme begin to loath them. For example, the bike that now sits in front of our building rusting. I had such good intentions when we first got it, Joe would eventually get a bike and we would ride together, and if all else fails I would ride it to work. When in New Orleans, riding the bike to work was a great idea, flat straight ride to work, less hassle than walking and great when the car was on the fritz. In Clinton, the hills and the heat make me not even want to think about taking the chain off. So there it sits, dedication out the window with the value and worth declining.

I am realizing how many things I have wasted our money on simply by wanting and not really needing. Those are the things that usually sit untouched for the second month of ownership, and have during the first month broken good habits and taken away the desire for steady things. A childish side of me emerges and I want nothing else but the flash and possibility of this thing or activity. I don't know if it is just a distraction from what life is really like or if it something I want to show off. I don't understand really why the cycle continues, but it continues in almost every area of my life; work, home life, church, quiet times all fall prey to it. When I hit the realization, I almost immediately feel the pull back in to it, "maybe a book or bible study could help me with this." Not that either are a bad thing for most people, but I know my tendency to spend money on either and never finish because they will be replaced as the cycle continues because buying it started the cycle.

When I say every area of my life, I mean every. Another example college, yes I stuck though and got my degree, but did I ever really stick anything out. I had four majors in four years, my plans went with the wind. Music was something I always enjoyed so thats where I started, until it began to be too hard and no longer something I enjoyed. Then came English education, great plans but I didn't really want to teach in a classroom I thought, I couldn't even spell well enough to teach anyone else. Social work was a brilliant idea, I could help people, that is what I wanted to do anyway seeing that my ultimate goal was to be a missionary, until it became more practical to the social work profession and then I was out. And I wanted to be out, of school, so how could I graduate with the least amount of extra money to be paid and hours to be taken, sociology. I loved the classes, but where has it gotten me? I still wonder if my idealized views of life will follow me through everything, I know that it has job wise. I will always wonder if I should go back to school to do something else, there the cycle continues. It is almost as if I am a piece of paper lit on fire to start a bonfire, without the huge steady logs I am only going to flare up for a short time and disappear, with the logs I could spread and bring meaningful heat. I know what the fire and logs should be focused on (or in the metaphor lit by and be centered around), but I feel I am still trying to find the logs that will last that will bring meaning and that can be centered around God and not try to replace him.

I don't want to blame all of this on my American culture, that would be the easy thing to say. I don't want to even blame, I feel like that is just a mechanism to justify instead of change. I do feel bad that I have wasted time, money and talents that have been entrusted to me but I don't feel I should dwell on the things that are now gone. I know that God has forgiven me for my past, and wants me to simplify so I can seek him and he will change my desires for the lasting things.

One week down, one to go!

So Joe has been gone for a little over a week, and will be back one week from today! Besides a down day yesterday when I really didn't get to talk to him and missed him much more than other days, I've been ok. Don't get me wrong, I have had a hard time cooking for one, and cleaning the house, especially the dishes but work has kept me busy. I really can't wait until I get home from work next Monday and find my husband crashed out on the couch or bed because of jet lag. But until then tomorrow is the first day in my new class. There is still so much to do to fix the room the way I like it. I keep rethinking the layout, dress up should be by a mirror, so homeliving will need to move, and that means that the climbing toy needs to move as well...but is the mirror short enough not to climb up to it? Anyway, those are the boring thoughts going through my head. Back to laundry for me. Have a great Memorial Day.

Frogs everywhere!

So my desk is covered in frogs, laminated, ones that need to be laminated, and a froghead grill cup. With this week being so wearing on my nerves, I just keep telling myself next week will be different. I will be in a different room, have a different schedule and five or six new children out of the eleven or twelve children in the class. Part of me is excited, the other part is scared that the children I already have will not mesh well with the new children. At least I'll be working shorter days 7 1/2 hours in stead of 9 or 10 hour days. Well back to cutting out frogs...

Is it really tuesday, because it feels like monday!

Yesterday, I worked a whopping 12 hours, with setting up my room for next week and a staff meeting. Needless to say, today I am not on my A game. To top it off, we are beginning to try to follow the ITERS procedure for proper diaper changing, I think I counted 18 steps... I remember going over it in NO but it is strange to really try to put it in motion. With move up next week, and rooms changing this week, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. The children can feel it too, at least that is what I am telling my self to excuse the crankiness and aggression. I am ready for the day to be over, sadly it is only lunch time, and about time for me to go back. Please pray that I will be sane when handling the children, and that I won't miss Joe too much. Please pray that in the midst of all this God will be glorified in and through me.

Long day...

Today I went to a training for the preschool, six hours of training... Sadly I feel I learned more from the handouts than from the people actually speaking. Thankfully I will be paid for those six hours, and I guess it got my mind off Joe leaving. Which by the way he has actually left Jackson and is on his way! I know he is so excited to finally be on his way. Please pray for safe travel. Right now I am just watching You've Got mail on TV and thinking about all the things I need to do, and not really sure where to start. Have a great rest of the weekend!

Today has been crazy busy but fun. Joe and I talked about greening up our life, but not sure where it will take us.
We found great photography on brick street, had pizza from a new to us pizza place, and stopped by the bucks for a quick visit with a friend and a treat... Oh yeah and we tailed joe's boss on the interstate on accident while going the wrong direction.

Penn Says

this is a must watch video that was shown in church this morning... it really made me think;
just follow this link because I can't upload it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JHS8adO3hM

Beautiful Morning!

Today has been so beautiful, the flowers are blooming, and it is sunny and warm.

So I walked, to the library and the grocery store. It was so amazing! I walked past the our old band field and it was covered in clover flowers. Picture perfect...

To top the day off, while in Kroger, I found fresh field ripened tomatoes, and amazing strawberries! I felt like a hippie green freak, and even bought these reuseable shopping bags. Lol I just remembered that I had a smoothie for lunch as well... I guess I am a full blown hippie for the day.
The lined one I got on a second trip after I found out they had "cold bags" and got the milk I couldn't get on the first trip. I felt so relaxed, it was wonderful not to have to worry about hurried traffic or crazy drivers. I could just enjoy the warm weather and beautiful wild flowers. While I know that if the option was available Joe and I would have probably gotten out with the crazy drivers and made it to Walmart, but it was a blessing to not have that option available. I'm telling you if you weren't able to get out and enjoy it, you really missed something amazing!

Back to work

So my fever broke, with a little help, monday morning about five in the morning. So I took monday off, and rested. This morning I woke up and felt so much better. So I went back to work, where it seems I was not the only one with the crud or flu, whatever it was. I'm just glad I'm getting over this stuff.

Good fever

So this past week has been amazing, I am working full time since Monday in a one year old room. I love working with these kids. Well, almost every child has had a snotty nose this week. Well I have been fighting off allergies (at least that is what I thought). This morning I woke up sore, and since I hadn't done anything to become sore I was confused. After church I laid down to rest and when I woke up I had a fever. I never get fever. I called my mom, the nurse, and asked to age old question, let the fever run it's course or take medicine. Since it isn't too high, my mom suggested that I let it run it's course to kill whatever it is. Like I said before, I haven't gotten a fever in years, probably because I would run to the doctor anytime I was starting to get sick. I of course would get a bag full of meds so my immune system didn't have to blink. Finally my immune system is taking care of it's self. So I am excited that hopefully I'll get better soon. I just hope it breaks tonight, so I'll be better for work tomorrow. So there it is my good fever, I'm still sore and hot, but lots of fluids and rest will help.

I love my job

I know I have only been there a little over a week but I love my job. It is amazing how much some things just come back to me, and the set up of a center makes things easier. I have worked as a sub in only three rooms but I love the room I have worked in most... one year olds! I don't know what it is about one year olds but I love working with them. Next week I probably won't be in that room unless something changes, but I'm getting attached to the kids. Then again, I didn't think I would be in that room much this week... so who knows.

This past sunday the sermon was about being involved in the church body and using your gifts for more than just making money... so there I was trying to think about what my gifts were. I love music and singing, but there are many others who are much better than I am. Then I thought about when I do the most singing, with kids of course! Then the part about using your gift for more than just making money hit, I love working with preschoolers, and the purest singing I do to share is with preschoolers. I live in a musical world... preschool. So I signed up to help with preschoolers, not sure what that means since we missed the meeting because our car broke down last night. Since it was right before church, there was no time or anyone around to help us. Thankfully I was at work, not too long of a walking distance from home, and it wasn't dark yet.

Alice in Wonderland!!!

I was searching through some Wiki articles trying to figure out about some of the nominated movies, and stumbled across a wonderful article... Disney is remaking Alice in Wonderland, with Tim Burton. Just a few of the amazing cast, Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Helena Bonham Carter (Harry Potter, Sweeney Todd) as the Red Queen, Alan Rickman (Snape in Harry Potter) as the Caterpillar, Crispin Glover (Twister, Whats eating Gilbert Grape) as the Knave of Hearts, Frances de la Tour (also Harry Potter) as Aunt Imogene... the other names I looked at I wasn't quite sure about. The movie is in post production and is due in theaters March of 2010. Probably will be quite creepy or at least dark in nature but I am still excited none the less. Wish I could post pictures but I haven't found any, since it is in post production, maybe some will come out soon.

This week

So it has been a week since I started as a sub and I have worked every day except one. That day, I sat and read while waiting by my phone, but it was so relaxing I was ok with it. Working with kids again has been great. I had forgotten how amazing it is to see children grow, help, and learn. I gave and got so many hugs this week. I think I also got a cold, but its ok, nothing a lot of OJ and rest can't fix.

This week has also been crazy. Joe has been taking tons of meds to hopefully reduce swelling and infection, to have a tooth pulled. He has been in so much pain this past week, and yesterday they pulled it. We were hoping once the tooth was pulled a lot of the pain would go away, but unfortunately he has at least a couple more painful days a head. We are just thankful he isn't on duty this weekend, because much sleeping is in order.

So while there is tons to do around the house, I think this is going to be a day of rest for the most part. Grocery shopping might be able to wait another day, but cleaning definitely can.

Depression and hope

So I have a job! It isn't necessarily the best or most stable but it was a crazy amazing first day. In the middle of unemployment I was unwilling to admit out loud how depressing it is to be without a job, but now I feel I need to write about the emotions that were so clear and pressing in the middle of it all. Mainly I write this because I am not alone in this past struggle, and secondly because while I know most of the worries and emotions I felt were unfounded but very deep rooted in things we learn in our childhood. I am very grateful for the job I have no matter how much I still worry that it won't be as stable as I hope, since I am a sub at this moment. Anyway so here it is.

During this time, I just struggled with thoughts of not pulling my weight and feeling guilty about not always being on top of household chores. If I didn't want to do the dishes which I never want to do, and neither does Joe, I would feel awful because if I didn't do the dishes, what was I doing? Guilt was a huge emotion I dealt with, since I did this to myself. At least that is what I told myself. I do know that it was important that I left starbucks, and the decision wasn't really up to me it was a God thing. But when things started to happen where it would have been really nice to have a second income and health insurance doubt was huge. Sleep, yeah I definitely did too much. I read the ways to keep from getting depressed when out of work, and while I did what most said, and tried to focus on God, they didn't seem to hit the nail on the head. Yes I graduated from college and had wonderful hopes when pursuing the degree I received, but with a BS in sociology few actual career paths were in front of me. As in none, not at least because of the degree I received. And while so many who were being helpful tried to guide me out of that degree path, I had a real passion for studying people, and I know that it will be used in the future. There was hopelessness in trying to find the direction I should go. I envied the Nursing and education majors who had set paths. I watched city of amber and wished jobs were handed out on a specific day, but you could still trade with a friend if you didn't pull out the job you wanted (which completely missed the point of the movie). I wanted to have a purpose, daily, not just in the long run, not just hoping that we would make it to the long run. There were days I didn't leave the house, because I didn't know where I would go. I was paranoid when it came to walking around campus, I was a bum, living off my husband which a was great a half a century ago but I was brought up to work, find a good job and do my best at it. I felt guilty saying I was looking for a job, but it was true, an awful truth that was always embarrassing. But people always ask what you do to try to find out more about you. And while it might not stay on the minds of those who asked, it weighed heavy on mine. I'm not saying in most situations it isn't an ok question to ask, but in mine it was something I tried to avoid. I would hope they would only ask Joe, I could go along and nod hoping they would not care what I did or they wouldn't have time after the obligatory explanation of part of the RD life, what dorm, "you mean like a dorm parent?", or "a what?" But usually the question would follow, sometimes with the what are you looking for sometimes with the awkward nod and an ok, see you later. When I had to truly search for a job daily, I just wanted to find something that would be "normal" hours that I might be qualified for, usually a long shot since with this market entry level jobs in the truest form are really hard to find. So I would stand in front of the person asking trying to give the easiest answer for a job that I have no clue if I'd want. Usually I would just say secretary or receptionist. I felt silly wanting a job I would enjoy. Jobs are supposed to be work, but do we have to dread going to work? I know some people do, but I didn't want to go back into a place like that again. And it would circle back into things happening and the extra income would have been nice, and the guilt would start again. So there was the dreaded circle.

So the hope that follows this time is looking back I can see where God guided me through this time. From leaving Starbucks, trusting God would provide, to finding out how God saved me from a lot of unnecessary stress by leaving. And how God provided... We were able to spend time with family without being held to the Clinton area. Joe and I were able to make up for the months of not being able to spend a lot of time together. It took time for God to show me how ungrateful I was of our situation in New Orleans, and allowed me to heal from some of my hang ups. Because of that healing time, I could realize I really did enjoy working with children, and wanting to leave the preschool was about things other than the preschool. God also gave me the time to know I wasn't just running back to working with preschoolers because I was running away from something. I know this will probably be just for a time, but I am where I am supposed to be. We could let go and find a church we can be a part of. So I know God will continue to provide for us, I have hope that he will use us. It has taken a crazy journey to get to this point, and know that nothing may be the same tomorrow. So there it is.

Promising

I called back about the preschool job, and while she said she wants to put me into the position, the person who will be leaving on maternity leave isn't ready to go yet. So while it might be another couple of weeks before I can start working in that position, I can be added to the sub list as soon as I fill out some paper work and they do finger printing. So I guess this is promising. I hopefully will know more tomorrow when I pick up the paper work. Yea for a job!

Some things I have been thinking about

This morning we visited Pinelake's Clinton campus, and for the first time in a while I felt challenged by a church. It was a breath of fresh air not to feel a doctrinal agenda guiding the service and message. I didn't feel like I was in a "baptist" church but more just a christian church. Anyway the message today was on prayer and truly praying for God's hand and glory from what we are praying. The challenge was to pray everyday for the month of Feb. about something specific (that pleases God, and is for his glory, not just because we want it), at least five min everyday. While the Lord's pray was used as a guideline of how to pray, it was brought down to the simpicity of the purpose behind it, to focus the prayer on God, giving glory to him, and submitting the outcome to be not mainly for my pleasure and gain but to be inline with God's will and purpose. So as of today I am going to stop focusing my prayers on getting a job. My prayer for this month is that God with show me what he wants my daily purpose to be. I undterstand that daily my life should glorify God, but in what way should that manifest itself. I am blessed that he is giving me this time in my life to seek him in this.

Curly Journal

I have a new blog specifically for my new curly hair journey. I know that may seem strange, but I seem a bit silly talking about hair here with everything else. So my spot to be a bit vain is www.newcurly.blogspot.com. So for those who are interested in my hair journey I'll have pictures up soon.

Trusting God

Yesterday marks a week from my last interview, and when all was said and done I knew I didn't have a chance. So I called back the temporary job to let them know I was going to find out where the other job was at and turn it down. My plans are not their plans obviously, because the temporary job had been filled. So I had a good cry, not knowing about the other job yet. I emailed the powers that be yesterday afternoon to see where the process was and where I stood. When I woke up this morning there it was in my email, rejection number two. I have what ifed my self all morning. If I had only said something about knowing sooner in the interview. If I had only emailed earlier. Honestly the temporary position was filled on Friday, the day I still thought I had a chance at the other position. So even though I went to the office on Monday, it still would have been too late.

There is some reason God didn't allow either of these to happen. I am trusting that he is in control. While it would be nice to have two incomes, at this point, it is not necessary. We are learning about our needs and wants. There are never sure things and we always must rely and trust God to provide. He always gives us what we need, and sometimes he throws in our wants to surprise us. I think he is trying to make me more thankful for what he does give us.

I'm going to explore the talents he has given me and not take them for granted. I want to enjoy what he has allotted to me.

Coupon crazy!

So today after much planning and organization yesterday we went shopping, Kroger and Corner Market.

Corner Market had Toasters Strudel 2 for 4... with a coupon for $1 off 2... $1.50 a box!

At Kroger the mix and match huge sales event is going on... buy 10 items save $5 at check out
While a good deal we couldn't afford to get the snacky stuff this time around... oh well but here was the breakdown.

Should have gotten colgate toothpaste free but the card coupon didn't work, so $1.50
Hamburger helper 3 for 5, card coupon .75 off paper coupon $1 off... 1.08 a box
Coffeemate 3.29 paper coupon for 1.00 off... large liquid coffeemate 2.29 same price or less than the small one
Green giant frozen steamed veggies 1.59 with a paper coupon of .60 also a bonus coupon of .60... $.39 after!

Some card coupons won't always work... shortcuts worked this time, but cellfire didn't. Which I have heard of problems the other way around... so you never know.
Also Kroger won't accept online printed coupons over $1 but to make up for it I'm pretty sure they double any coupons under $1

It is almost a game trying to match sales and coupons. I'm not saying these were the only things we bought, but as for coupons this is what we saved.

Easy way to organize coupons is to get a three ring binder and page protectors. I have a page protector for each category that I thought was important (snacks, meals, bread, beauty, other) as well as store only coupons such as target and Kroger card loaded. I labeled them on the side as if they were dividers (which can be seen through the other pages). This was I can keep my printed out shopping list from kroger's web site with the deals I want to check out and the circulars I pick up as I walk in to check if there is anything I missed. Today was the first day I used my note book, but I hope it continues to work.

I sooo Have curly Hair!

The experiment has been proven... I have curly hair.

Thanks to a great curly friend who cut my hair and showed me how to fix my hair, my hair is big and curly, and I am learning to love it! It seems so strange to no longer brush my hair... but I guess it works. I am also learning that I will never be able to control my hair, but I don't think I was meant to.

After the hair cut my friend made a comment about how it works with my face shape... who knew that God had a purpose for giving me curly hair. I'm learning so much in this process... who knew!

Too many thoughts

I couldn't really sleep last night. Too many thoughts, what ifs and how abouts going through my head. All of it has really just kept me on edge. I'm just tired of thinking! Joe is still hard at work helping with what he can so we are unable to get away and disappear. There is so much that has been done to prevent anything else from happening but my brain just doesn't seem to want to understand that. All in all I think I have come to the conclusion that I think too much.

So much for a quiet weekend!

Please pray that no more incidents will happen. Thanks

Curly?

I have been searching the internet for ways to tame my unruly hair. So far I have found that if my hair IS indeed curly, I have been doing everything I could possibly do wrong! Apparently there is a not so new book out called curly girl that says it is bad to shampoo curly hair, especially with most of the shampoos out there. Anyway here are a few links I have run across. I'll tell you how things turn out.

www.naturallycurly.com
Got curl
curly girl method

Coupon update

I still haven't used the ones on the kroger card, but I did go shopping today. And while I am not as good at this as some, I did save a total of 9.28 including kroger savings. This was the break down.

Manufacture's coupons- 6.00
bonus coupon savings -1.00
Kroger plus savings- 2.28
total savings 9.28

sadly there is a down side... some coupons were lost in a printing error and therefore can't be printed again... that is why we are going to have two coupon accounts, one on each computer.

Just to let you know, hamburger helper is 10 for 10 at kroger, and there is a coupon to take money off of three at either www.coupon.com or www.smartsource.com it is defiantly worth creating another account on a different computer for the savings.

happy shopping!

Interviews, Duty nights

I had another interview today, and because it is a temporary job we are waiting until after the job interview I have on Wednesday afternoon. So hopefully one way or another I will have a job! I just wanted to let you know.

Other than that Joe is on duty from now until Sunday night, so we are praying the hi jinks stop. Maybe we can have a somewhat peaceful weekend.

Almost sandies jam thumbprint cookies

So yesterday I had a huge craving for something sweet and snacky. (I blame it on switching BC.) So I pulled out my pink cookbook to see what ingredients we had and what would be easy. So I stumbled across a thumbprint cookie recipe that called for finely chopped walnuts, which I didn't have so I substituted pecans I had leftover. Anyway, I was trying to figure out what the taste was... sandies! So here is the recipe

Jam Thumbprints (from the New Cookbook)
2 eggs
2/3 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup finely chopped walnuts (pecans)
1/3 to 1/2 cup jam or preserves

1. Separate eggs; place yokes and whites in separate bowls. Cover and chill egg whites until needed. In a large mixing bowl beat butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 sec. Add sugar. Beat until combined, scraping sides of bowl occasionally. Beat in egg yokes and vanilla until combined. Beat in as much of the flour as you can with the mixer. Stir in any remaining flour. Cover and chill dough about 1 hour or until easy to handle.

2. Preheat oven to 375 F. Grease a cookie sheet; set it aside. Shape dough in to 1-inch balls. Slightly beat reserved egg whites. Roll balls in egg whites, then walnut (pecans) to coat. Place balls 1-inch apart on the prepared cookie sheet. Using your thumb, make an indentation in the center of each ball of dough.

3. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until edges are light brown. Transfer to wire rack and let cool. Just before serving, fill cookie centers with Jam.

if you just want the sandie taste don't put a thumbprint but just leave as balls.

Coupons

Clipping coupons may seem old fashioned but I am trying to get back in to the money saving mindset. So I just thought I would post a few links to help others save as well.

www.pgesaver.com
www.pillsbury.com

PGesaver has become high tech, the coupons are added to your shopper card. I haven't used it yet, but it saves me from searching through coupons in the checkout line.

Life as a college grad in the dorms

I love our home, but I don't love somethings that come with it. We never know what will happen in the middle of the night, and that hit me this morning after some craziness yesterday. My husband has had trouble sleeping but he has so much to deal with that there really isn't a dull moment for him. I enjoy being back where we met and in a city we enjoy. I love hanging out with our friends. So I guess it comes with it's ups and downs. When we are able to get away for a little bit it makes it so much better.

Something Good

I am listening to the Ingrid Michaelson CD Be Ok. I had heard the title song a few weeks ago and absolutely love it. Two days ago while hanging out with an amazing person the cd peaked around the corner of a Barnes and Noble shelf, and screamed to my friend to buy it. We listened to it on the way home and I feel in love with Ingrid's voice! My husband got the cd for me as an Itunes copy so I have been enjoying it most of the morning.

I realise that I get so busy that I don't have a chance to enjoy music. So now because I have time, I will enjoy.

I have some pretty strange resolutions this year... some of which I still haven't started yet but here they are.

-Read my Bible everyday
-Wake up before 9:30 every morning
-Work out in some way every day
-Get involved in a Church
-Drink 8 glasses of water a day
- By the end of the year I want to learn how to knit socks.

So there they are, the working out and water have kind of been missed, but other than that its going pretty well. Other than that finding a job should be on there, but that is a week by week resolution. I still have tons of resumes out there, so who knows!

Right now I am just enjoying music and coffee, and I am about to get up and do more around the house since I have the time.

Interview, Jobs, Decisions

I had another interview today, at a local preschool. I was offered a job, as an assistant for older twos... potty training twos. I asked for some time to think about it and I had until this afternoon. I turned it down. I kept asking God for wisdom, and it just didn't fit. Could I do the job, probably, would I be stressed, defiantly. I'm still waiting to hear back on a couple of jobs, so who knows.

Crazy google problems

Here is my story:
A couple of days ago I felt the need to blog, I was excited about my new coffee maker, and the resolutions I am a little too ambitious about, but all in all I wanted to write about it. So I pulled up the log in page and began to type in my user name and password and the same screen came up over and over it was the log in page with my info, but it got me no where. So I tried to reset everything, simple enough I thought... so I followed the directions, and check my email. It sent me somewhere else and then told me to check an email I no longer have anymore with the fine print stating that if you no longer have access to the email address, wait a week and try again. I felt like Harriet with out her notebook! I just wanted to write, and here Google was telling me wait a week for the chance to write, if it decides it wants to work. Well, I was able to accept my fate until tonight the same thing started to happen with my gmail. My gmail that is on all of the resumes I have handed out... well that was just not going to work! So I saw a small link that said, having problems... and thought, are you mocking me? Well I clicked it anyway, because even though it is a bad time to mock, I needed access to my email. I clicked a couple of boxes and reset some stuff in firefox and there it was my gmail! Well I figured that if there was a problem on that side and it was fixed, maybe my blog would be fixed as well... so I typed in the address, went to the sign in box and waited. It was only a couple of seconds, but a lot can pass through my mind in a few seconds. I am not the technology buff in the family so I never know if I've made something better or lost a lot of important information. The screen popped up and there was my site! And for the first time I actually fixed my computer problem, I mean with help from the google troubleshooter, but still! I don't really know what I reset, so there may be problems later, but I still have my bookmarks so I don't have to hunt down my fav blogs again so for now all is well.

Seeing that it is late the coffee maker and resolutions will have to wait. Tomorrow is another day of job hunting, so I must sleep.